Congratulations, you have finally found your dream job! Career opportunities are unlimited. Vacation is endless. Salary - for a lifetime you will not spend. But there is one small detail: tomorrow an all-male team is waiting for you. So completely that even the cactus on the window is male. What to do now - fall into? Or rejoice in unexpected luck? And how quickly can you accept changes in the rules of the game? After all, a woman in a male team discovers a new, unfamiliar and unusual model of behavior for the representatives of the stronger sex.
Where did I get?
What shocks right from the threshold - high level aggression. A pronounced hierarchy is established in the male group: leaders here, the bulk there, outsiders in the corner. The struggle for territory and status goes on continuously: sometimes openly, sometimes subconsciously. Men tease each other, taunt, test for strength and readiness to defend their "possessions".
It misleads a woman: trying to copy aggressive behavior, it does not take into account the fact that men tacitly understand the conventions of the struggle, not allowing it to spread to work or personal relationships.
For them, competition and rivalry is a familiar natural process, part of the game. Now they are arguing furiously about who will get a comfortable chair or who will sit by the window - and a minute later they go peacefully to drink coffee. The woman, taking the external manifestation as the essence, experiences severe stress and declares hostilities, thinking that she has managed to make mortal enemies for herself.
The second female mistake is connected with this - intrusion into the boundaries of the space that men protect as their zone of influence. It includes material (computer, tools, parking space) and abstract (his part of the job, professional activities and qualifications). Now you understand why men are violently reacting to women's advice about what and how to do at work? Or tidying up their desk without permission?
And the third consequence: it would be better for a woman in a male team not to rush to make friends without understanding the hierarchy of the group. Recklessly joining the outsiders, she will take over some of the disrespect or even contempt for them from the rest of the team. Who knows how this will affect career growth?
And what to do with it?
In fact, there is nothing to worry about. Men are well aware that you do not have to follow these rules. However, it can be useful to immediately indicate your area of competence: in the future, you will avoid persistent wishes to make coffee, unsolicited recommendations on organizing the workflow, and even eliminate the unpleasant harassment of anxious colleagues. Be prepared for the fact that men will repeatedly try to test your defense - but treat this as an element of the game, and not an act of aggression.
At the same time, you should definitely not go on the defensive, think that you are surrounded by opponents, communicate with colleagues dryly, coldly and exclusively on business. By moving away from the team, you thereby hint to them that you are supposedly better, higher and more reasonable than they are. How well do you think it will be received? How quickly will you find yourself in a complete information vacuum? Most often, such condescending behavior is the reason for male aggression towards a woman in a team. Take an example from men: it is quite possible to be sociable and responsive, keep in touch and go on joint smoke breaks without crossing the boundaries of personal space.
By the way, about the personal: for men, work is a priority, so all household problems, girlfriends and relatives should be left outside. Strongly discouraged:
- hanging on the phone for hours, talking with girlfriends about fashion news;
- call home every minute to find out what your child had for lunch and what grades he brought today;
- leave the workplace for personal business - especially for a visit to the hairdresser.
If your absence is due to really important reasons - you need to go to the doctor or take your child to him, there was a flood at home - at least pretend that you are upset by the forced distraction from your favorite work: this will earn you extra points. Free advice: any absence from work related to the repair or maintenance of a car is perceived by men benevolently.
Business woman
Having dealt with how the male team looks through the eyes of a woman, we will try to form an image and a model of behavior that will be at least neutrally perceived by men and describe how a woman should behave in a male team in order to win her place. The nuance is that if this image or model causes an internal protest in you, does not correspond to your character, you most likely will not be able to stay in the men's team.
1. They are greeted by clothes
There is an opinion that for successful work a woman in a male team needs a strict business style, a minimum of makeup and taboos on clothes of bright colors. This is only half true:
- liberties in clothing are definitely not recommended for beginners, whose professional qualities the team has not yet formed an idea;
- your too open, tight and bright clothes distract men from their "sacred cow" - work. Yes, they will show a purely male interest, but the damage to your career and the image of a “frivolous flirt-tail” will greatly outweigh the possible benefits;
- men cannot be shocked. A lady who carefully maintained a business style is able to stop the work of an entire company by suddenly appearing at work in a mini and stilettos. Therefore, shorten the skirt and deepen the neckline by a centimeter per month - and after six months you will be provided with freedom in choosing outfits;
- some freedom in dress is acceptable for those women who have already shown their professional skills, have earned the authority of high-class workers and know how to win the respect of colleagues in other ways;
- a purely masculine accessory or a detail of a suit (tie, jacket, formal trousers) shows men that you are “one of them” even when your other clothes are exclusively feminine.
2. Do you respect me?
Do you know what is the most useless here? Demand respect. Not to deserve, not to earn, namely to demand - on the basis of the fact that "I am a woman here, and you are men." Even worse - using this argument, try to remake the male team according to their female understanding: forbid them to smoke, express themselves "from the heart" or discuss the girls passing by. They will continue to do it anyway - but in their own circle, turning their backs to you. Do you understand the danger?
Sometimes a woman in a male team tries to become “her boyfriend”: she starts smoking, talking vulgar things and getting into a fight. Such ladies are never recognized as full members of the team, but they will lose that important part of themselves that makes them women.
From the point of view of men, there is no division by gender. Here everyone is doing a common thing on an equal footing and is equally responsible for the result. Therefore, all privileges are revoked, and feminine ways conflict resolution is not applicable. Crying, throwing tantrums or expressing emotions is a sure way to cause misunderstanding and rejection - because this is a clear demonstration of weakness and unpredictability. And weakness, as we already know, in the conditions of constant male competition is unacceptable: it is not Kindergarten but serious work.
But at the same time, reactions that are understandable to men to understandable situations will be met with approval. No one will raise an eyebrow if you swear after a conversation with, slam on the table after an unpleasant client leaves, or make a characteristic gesture with your hand, concluding a million dollar contract.
There are two ways to earn the respect of men in a team: to become a master of your craft and go to work with your head - or to show yourself as a strong personality. If everything is clear with skill, then the second involves some work on oneself. We are talking about things that require willpower and a certain courage: go in for sports (especially extreme ones), start learning foreign languages, learn how to drive a car quickly and confidently. Add to this strong internal principles and as a reward you will receive the unchanging respect and admiration of the male part of the team. Now you can remember about short skirts ...
3. Citizen chief
It is logical if a woman who has shown herself to be a class specialist will be appointed to a leadership position. Some tension will inevitably arise, but out of respect for her authority, men will give the woman her due: she honestly earned her reward. In this case, a female leader in a male team will feel at home: all the ambitions, internal hierarchy and moods of her colleagues are well known to her.
It is much more difficult if a female boss is invited "from outside". The probability that the team will not accept it is almost one hundred percent. After all, the respect of men must be earned, remember? It will be very useful to immediately inform your subordinates about your high qualifications and past achievements - only in indirect ways, otherwise men will take it for boasting.
The right policy is to show yourself as a caring, but fair and demanding "mother." Direct the destructive energy of men outward, let them know that you are on the same side in the battle with competitors, that in any controversial situations you will act on the side of the team. If at the same time you confirm by deed the previously launched rumors about your professional qualities, then a positive result will not be long in coming.
Wrong policy: trying to subjugate men with authoritarianism, psychological pressure, the threat of dismissal and shouting. By the way, have you noticed how many women leaders choose this path? Men already painfully endure blows to their pride, but to receive them from a woman ... The result is predictable: war will be declared, the team will close, deprive you of access to up-to-date information, begin to sabotage your orders and frankly set you up at the first opportunity.
4. Love will come unexpectedly ...
What about flirting and coquetry, is this acceptable in the workplace? Answer: only in two cases. Firstly, if you came to the men's team in search of a life partner and do not plan to stay here even for a moment after the cherished ring sparkles on your ring finger.
Secondly, liberties are permissible for a woman who has been working in a men's team for a long time, who has earned authority and has already established the boundaries of what is permitted (remember clothing - the situation is the same here). Only then can female coquetry, presented in a comic form, be able to brighten up the harsh everyday life of the male team. However, it doesn’t hurt to make sure that men understand the conventions of this “performance” - otherwise some poor fellow will take your flirting at face value, get a refusal and begin to take revenge, spread unpleasant rumors behind your back and cause other troubles.
If you are not sure if the surrounding men have a sense of humor, it’s better not to risk it: any random touches and hints can be interpreted incorrectly. In the speed of spreading rumors and gossip, the male team will give odds to the female team, and if you are also flirting with the authorities ...
Service or romance?
The statistics are relentless: no more than 15% of office romances end in marriage. But every second has to quit after the end of the relationship. Even if it does not come to a change of work, violent feelings and workflow are mutually exclusive things and therefore not approved by management.
Definitely not worth it in your department, in front of everyone. Gossip, advice, even attempts to quarrel you will come not only from rejected fans, but also from completely indifferent colleagues. When you start an affair with a subordinate, you will never know how pure his intentions are and what he says to colleagues behind your back. Having an affair with your boss ends your career as a specialist - no one will ever again believe that you have achieved something on your own. In an ideal office romance, the partners are not connected by a “boss-subordinate” relationship, are not direct colleagues and are not constantly in front of each other.
What advantages can a woman find in a male team?
Let's be honest: when you come to work in the men's team, you set yourself a difficult task. You can’t lose your vigilance for a minute, you can’t show weakness or use the classic female “arsenal” - how long can you withstand such stress? Fortunately, men's views on this problem are much more loyal than it seems - they will forgive many small mistakes, they will give you the opportunity to prove yourself again and again. And more good news: this tension will soon pass. As soon as you earn the trust of your colleagues, you will have at your service not one strong male shoulder, but a dozen or two - and not only shoulders, but also consultants on problems with the car, repairs, household appliances and computers.
You will learn to work the way they do - quickly, decisively, without torment and doubt, instantly move from a state of rest to vigorous activity. You will begin to control words and restrain emotions, eliminate ambiguities and convey information to your opponent concisely and clearly.
You will understand how to build not only at work, but also in life. And finally - a woman in a male team must constantly monitor herself, be in good shape. Lack of makeup or, old jeans and flip flops, men may not notice. But you yourself will allow yourself to appear in such a form at work, where even a cactus is a male?
Working in a male team seems difficult to those who have never worked in it. Of course, this does not mean that all employees are just waiting for the appearance of a female colleague. However, joining a male team and showing oneself as a competitive employee is no more difficult than in a female one. Here are a few useful tips, which our editors prepared together with Alina Reizelman - an entrepreneur, business expert and author of a unique methodology for increasing productivity and efficiency.
What to avoid in a male team
Getting a job, keep in mind: for successful integration into the team, it is necessary to think over the image and behavior to the smallest detail. Appearance, demeanor, time management, speech and habits should emphasize the seriousness of your intentions.
Avoid the following mistakes:
1. Provocative clothes
Give up necklines, short skirts, deep cuts, bright clothes, tight dresses, high heels, fabrics through which linen or its contours are visible.
2. Bright makeup or its complete absence
A bright make-up makes it clear that you want to be the center of attention. The complete absence of makeup will create the image of a gray mouse or a self-confident bitch - it depends on the professional competence of the employee. In both cases, you will be shunned.
3. Emotions
No emotion. In the male team, only a slight benevolent smile is acceptable without a hint of mockery and flirting. Shouting, swearing, raising your voice, expressing irritation, stormy joy, compassion is unacceptable. In no case should you shed tears, walk with a dull look, hover in the clouds and withdraw into yourself.
4. Gesticulation and facial expressions
Refrain from unnecessary gestures. Do not actively wave your arms, show obscene gestures, allow ambiguous touch, make faces or express feelings through facial expressions.
5. Cuteness, rudeness, rudeness
These qualities irritate colleagues of both sexes. Mannery is the lot of rich housewives. Your goal is to be a professional worker. If all the men around you are distinguished by rude, even boorish behavior, behave differently. You are a lady. On the other hand, don't take being rude as a personal insult. Rudeness on your part is unacceptable. Ignore rudeness in your address or parry with reason within the framework of business etiquette. Rudeness is a sign of weakness and stupidity.
6. Bad habits
Smoking cigarettes with male co-workers, drinking after work, and Friday night drinking will not make you "one of you." Men can't stand smoking and drinking women. Yes, there are times when the situation obliges you to take a sip of a strong drink, but never get drunk in front of colleagues and smoke with them.
7. Weakness
Showing weakness is unacceptable. For men, you are an employee and competitor, not a muslin lady. But if you need to move furniture, move something bulky and heavy, then it is quite acceptable to turn to men for help. On the contrary, your futile attempts to move a heavy object yourself will become an occasion for caustic jokes.
8. Flirting and personal relationships
Coquetry, flirting and romance with employees of your and competing organizations are unacceptable.
9. Demonstration of personal problems
Never tell colleagues about your personal life and family problems, do not leave your workplace without really serious reasons.
10. Idleness and vanity
Men mess around in the workplace no less than women, but once in the men's team, you need to forget about idleness. If you have done all the work and you really have nothing to do - take the time to study the aspects that will help you improve your professionalism. Don't fuss. It doesn't suit a woman.
11. Tips, notations, remarks
Leave teachings for your family. In a male team, this is unacceptable.
12. Don't snitch or gossip
Complaints about colleagues and gossip can lead to an early dismissal.
On this topic
What will help a woman to withstand competition in a male team:
1. Business image
Suits with pants in men's style or with a knee-length skirt, moderate makeup, neat, styled haircut or hairstyle, 1-2 elegant jewelry made of precious metals (for example, miniature earrings and a brooch), shoes with comfortable heels of medium height.
2. Natural
Don't try to wear a mask. Be yourself - colleagues will appreciate it.
3. Politeness, punctuality, diligence
Smooth, polite, exceptional business conversation with the whole team, punctuality, responsibility, one hundred percent high-quality performance of your duties, professionalism will quickly raise you in the eyes of the team.
4. Confidence in yourself and your professionalism
Even if you are not sure of yourself, never show it. In the male team, a demonstration of uncertainty is a sign of weakness.
5. Fair fight
Fight honestly for promotion. Intrigues, lies, etc. will kill your reputation forever.
6. Dedication to the cause and the team
Men with constant professional rivalry know how to unite in a team. If you learn to play in a team, show that the common cause is above all for you, so you will earn respect and honor.
Where gossip, intrigue and envy kill any desire to work productively, forcing you to just keep your eyes open so as not to become a victim of another "showdown". But if you still feel equal with the representatives of your gender, then, once you are in a team where only men work, you start to think: “Will they take me seriously? What to talk about with them? And how to behave if one of them shows signs of attention? In general, there are a lot of questions, and you will learn the answers to them from our article.
“When I first entered the office, to put it mildly, I was confused. 10 pairs of male eyes were looking at me. And not a single woman. None! I immediately, of course, panicked - what am I doing here? I for them so - unicellular. And then, as luck would have it, she showed up in a tight-fitting skirt, and some not the most well-mannered colleagues began to hoot. At first, of course, it was not easy. To get into women's team, you need to find common topics for conversation. Cosmetics, for example, or Ryan Gosling - everyone loves him now. But what to talk about with men? About computer toys, in which I do not understand anything, or about cars (I am also a layman in them)? In general, the first couple of months I took root, and now, six months later, I have become “my own on the board”. No, I didn’t get stubble and I don’t spend evenings in a beer bar with colleagues, they just started to respect me. It turned out that I am a smart specialist, better than some men. Plus, I’m a woman, and therefore my “knights” protect me from “barbarians” from other departments - they protect me.
To join the women's team, you need to find common topics for conversation. But what to talk about with men?
This story was told to "Cleo" by one of the readers who managed to "survive" in the male team and win the respect of the stronger sex. However, not everyone achieves such success, because they make one mistake after another, creating the impression of a stupid blonde, batting her eyes in surprise when she is asked to complete this or that assignment.
If “one among men” is about you, then carefully read our tips, they will help you become a full member of the team, while remaining a woman.
Forget about flirting
Flirtatiousness is a sure way to highlight the fact that you and your co-worker are of different genders, as well as hint that you'd like to continue the relationship outside of the office. If you want to become the object of gossip (and men are still gossip lovers), then feel free to start flirting with a nice colleague. Otherwise, get the thought of flirting out of your head altogether. You came here to work, not to look for a husband (we will assume that this is so), so keep your colleagues at a distance, stopping any attempts to hit on you.
Be a business woman
Yes, first of all you are a representative of the fair sex. You are not alien to the desire to wear beautiful things and sometimes hide behind women's weaknesses, justifying this or that failure. But don't get carried away. If you constantly just giggle stupidly and answer questions about why the assignment given to you has not been completed, answer: “I just forgot. This happens to us, women, ”then you risk forever remaining in the eyes of your colleagues a dim-witted girl.
Remember: both at home and at work you are a woman, but the only difference is that when you cross the threshold of the office, you become a business woman.
Don't refuse help
In an attempt to prove that they are worth something, many women begin to pretend that they are more than independent. Even when something does not work out, these strong representatives of the weaker sex do not agree to the help of colleagues, and as a result, the common cause suffers. Don't make this mistake, be friends with men - help them and, in turn, agree to their offers of help if you really can't handle anything alone.
Men are well aware that it is one thing to please colleagues and quite another to earn their respect.
Don't try to please
“Oh, guys, come on in, I baked a meat pie!” - some women are sure that in this way they will be able to win the love of the representatives of the male team, but they are greatly mistaken. Even men, the way to whose heart lies through the stomach, understand perfectly well that it is one thing to please colleagues and quite another to earn their respect. So, for the representatives of the stronger sex, the second is much more important, and the first is just an excuse to eat your homemade cooking. Therefore, leave all attempts to please, just do your job efficiently and on time.
Wet eyes
We women don't have to cry when someone hurts us. At the beginning of work in a male team, most of the fairer sex feel offended, and therefore their eyes are often in a wet place. But control yourself. Men in general can not stand women's tears, because they do not know how to behave when they see them. What can we say if it is not the wife who is crying, but a work colleague? This annoys them and makes them think: “Can you trust her with something important? It will rip again." Therefore, do not cry in the workplace, as well as do not make public scandals. If you want to fight back, then do it in private.
The only woman in the men's team ... Many ladies secretly dream about it. She is surrounded by attention, she is showered with compliments, she is given all sorts of concessions. It's great! Or not?
It is believed that it is easier for a woman to work in a male team. There is no gossip, no difficult situations associated with envy. But, in every case there is another side of the coin.
A woman in a men's team should be ready for big loads. This is due to the fact that men manage to do one and a half times more things in a day, and can do 75% of overtime work. The woman will have to keep up with them. And you need to understand that, working among men, she is subjected to close attention. It should also be remembered that work for men comes first. They do not waste time on chatter, all telephone conversations are reduced to work topics. Women, on the other hand, sometimes like to chat about this and that: children, family, new clothes .... This is how women usually relieve stress accumulated during the working day.
Do not forget that the woman who works among men is closely monitored. At first it can be pleasant, it gives you pleasure to catch interested male glances on yourself, to feel like a goddess. But as soon as you start an office romance or even just think about it, start flirting with someone from the team, then you will understand how men can gossip and joke evil. Therefore, after all, you should not practice novels with colleagues, do not flirt with anyone, give up coquetry. 
Also, do not try to join the male team from the first days of work. They have a very good sense of falsehood. Do not give advice and discuss personal life. Be natural, devote more time to work, if you are in a bad mood, try to control your emotions, and then success will await you.
The style of clothing is better to choose a business one. Do not try to impress colleagues with your forms in a mini skirt or a dress with an open neckline. In a work environment, this will look out of place. A stylish business suit, a skirt of an acceptable length - that's what you need.
Yes, you are the only one. They appreciate you, look after you, show gallantry. But a male colleague is more likely to climb the career ladder than you. This is due to the fact that gender stereotypes are triggered that it is more common for a woman to create home comfort, raise children, rather than reach career heights. All this, of course, is prejudice. But, unfortunately, they still live in modern collectives. Therefore, if you want to show yourself as a highly qualified specialist, then you need to be prepared for the fact that you will have to defend your rights and prove that women, on an equal basis with men, can hold high positions and feel great there.
In a male team, it is sometimes difficult to remain feminine. 
This happens because the lady unconsciously begins to copy the behavior of her colleagues, since they have to spend a lot of time together. The woman begins to speak a tone lower, walk wider, laugh louder. Over time, you will begin to figure out which rubber is better to ride, which engine oil is better ... Well, maybe this will be useful to you.
It turns out that being the only woman in the men's team is not so easy. But a woman can always find her pluses in everything, the main thing is just to want. Over time, you will get used to each other, you will understand your colleagues better. In this situation, it is important to remain feminine, look good, and not become "your boyfriend." Then the attitude of men towards you will remain gallant and polite, and they will appreciate and respect you as a valuable colleague and a pretty woman.
It is generally accepted that it is very easy and pleasant for women to work in a male team: supposedly men are happy to take on part of the duties, act like a gentleman and pay a lot of attention to the girl. The fair sex even believes that the women's team is a snake's lair, and they choose jobs where there are more men. However, is everything so rosy? What if you have to become "new" in the men's circle?
How to behave on the first working day?
- First impression, as you know, forms a reputation for many years. No need to think that men are not inclined to look at the details of your appearance - of course, they will study their colleague with interest. Indeed, their gaze is not as intent as a woman's, but this does not mean that they will forgive you an untidy look.
ADVICE! When choosing an image for the first working day, give preference to more businesslike and strict things. Clothes don't have to turn you into blue stockings, but they don't need to show femininity and sensuality - it's not a date.
If you wish to receive serious attitude to your own person, avoid coquettishness, vulgarity. Avoid flashy makeup. You may have a subconscious desire to please men, but remember that you are at work.
- Be confident. As a rule, the boss introduces the new employee to the team on the first day, so it will be a little easier for you. Act like you don't feel a single bit of excitement. Be sure to say hello, smile, and reintroduce yourself if someone forgets your name.
- Your demeanor should be friendly but neutral. You should not emphasize that you are a woman: do without showing your “weakness”. Working, business relations will only suffer from this. Do not expect indulgence because of your belonging to the opposite sex - colleagues will constantly experience because of this inconvenience. But do not overdo it with the rigidity of behavior. Otherwise, you will be perceived as a new "man". In a word, you need to find a golden mean.
- If you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask. Men rarely refuse help, they like to explain and show their professionalism. In this case, it's up to you.
- Do not hide your potential and do not be modest. Colleagues are curious, where did you come from? Tell us a little about your previous victories. Very important from day one.
Advantages of a woman working among men
Cons of being in a male team
Useful video
In a word, it is not always easy and fun for a woman to work in a male team. It is not easy to describe all the nuances in one article. However, there is a large number of examples where the fair sex was quite able to take root in such a social group.