Why men cry: reasons, psychology of men. Why do men cry? Weaknesses of the stronger sex Each nation has its own tears

It just so happened that it’s not for men to cry, but who said that a man has no right to tears ?! Men also cry, but this happens very rarely, and if you see men's tears, then the man has good reasons for this!

Do not judge men's tears

You should not condemn men's tears, men are also not iron, but unlike women, they rarely show their experiences, and, as a rule, keep in themselves, keep in their souls the whole burden of emotional experiences, perhaps because of this, men do not live long, this is extremely sad but true!

Men do not have the moral right to cry, otherwise others will not only look sideways and whisper behind their backs, but the “status” of a loser and weakling will also reliably stick, and for any self-respecting man, this is a blow below the belt.

A man does not cry for nothing

It’s easier for women, women’s tears are close, and, a little something is wrong, we cry and after that we feel some relief, we also receive pity from others with tears, they pity us and it’s good for us, and no one condemns, as if so and should be. So it was at all times, so it is, probably in 100 years nothing will change.

It is more difficult for men, nature turned out to be not so favorable to men, men's tears are considered a sign of weakness, and this is unfair! Men are inherently strong and courageous, but this does not mean that they experience less pain when they lose loved ones and loved ones or less happiness when they have a long-awaited heir. Men's experiences are stronger and deeper than women's, which means that men experience grief and misfortune much longer and stronger.

Unlike a woman who may cry from another puff on new stockings or a broken nail, a man will not cry over trifles. Men's tears need a good reason.

The loss of loved ones is one of the few significant reasons for men's tears, the unbearable pain of loss makes men cry. At such moments, not a single person has the moral right to condemn a person, because we women are well aware that tears bring relief.

Death, rupture or sincere tears - these are the reasons that can make a person shed a tear. And men are no exception.

Men's tears are like molten lead, just as heavy, because each tear is filled with inexpressible pain, bitterness and despair, or vice versa, tears of great happiness.

A man has a right to tears

Each person has the right to his own world, his own tragedies and experiences, his own personal happiness, dreams and feelings. And men also have the right to tears! Maybe it's time to reconsider outdated stereotypes and it's time to understand that a real man will not get worse if he sheds a tear.

In such cases, men need female support, not stupid ridicule and condemnation. A smart woman should understand that tears are not easy for a strong man. Only a loving, wise woman can understand and support her man. Women's care and attention will help to survive difficult moments in a man's life. Men have the same moral right to tears as to air, love or sex.

Naturally, we are talking about real men, and not about “pseudo-men” who whine with or without reason in the hope of softening a woman who is stronger in spirit than he is. This category of whiners has nothing to do with real strong men who have no right to show their tears.

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One often hears from women the regret that today's boys do not have enough male education, and as a result of the lack of male education, men do not manifest themselves in a manly way. This is a huge truth, but are we ourselves ready for such upbringing, including are women themselves ready to accept the difficult norms of male upbringing, upbringing like a man?

The belief "Men don't cry" is an essential part of a man's upbringing. I think this is a good belief, but you need to apply it with reason and mind.

Crying in and of itself is neither embarrassing nor harmful. It is good to cry with joy, you can cry at a funeral, where it is appropriate and accepted. But in other situations where children and women may cry, men do not. Men do not cry, because for them it is usually meaningless, and in order to remain men, that is, strong and reasonable people.

Not everyone knows this, but for a man, crying is meaningless. For women, everything is different: if a woman has grief and she cried, she usually feels better, crying helps a woman cope with mental pain. But with men it’s not like that, their grief and their pain is not alleviated by crying, no. Women believe in it with difficulty, but it is true - men do not feel better from tears.

If a man is against his tears, they cause him to protest and additional internal tension. If a man has nothing against male crying, he is indifferent to his own tears, as well as to any release of fluid from the body.

In male culture, crying is not accepted in the same way as among well-mannered people - mat. Crying is just a habit. Of course, if it is a habit developed from early childhood, crying seems natural and inevitable, but in cultures where the habit of crying is not cultivated, the habit of crying is not. Men do not cry not because it is shameful or bad, but because they have other tasks in life and they must be strong enough to keep their mind and calmness in any situation.

The situation is slightly different in psychotherapeutic groups, where crying is accepted. Men do not find themselves there often, and the atmosphere there, at least for business people, is, to put it mildly, strange for them, but if in that situation a man “fell over” and he wants to sob, this is completely normal. In different situations - different norms of behavior, and in the doctor's office you need to behave as the doctor says. Holding back crying in front of a psychotherapist is inappropriate.

A similar situation, where in ordinary life crying is allowed and beneficial for a man, is unbearable mental pain, which can only be alleviated by vigorous physical activity or sobbing. Sobbing, from the point of view of a doctor, is an energetic respiratory pumping, in which endorphins are intensively released: hormones of joy and a cure for pain. This is a useful procedure that saves a man's health in an emergency.

If the steam boiler is too hot, it is imperative to release steam through the valve, otherwise the boiler, especially the fragile one, will explode. Crying is the very safety valve from emotions that are ready to explode the soul.

Anything can happen in life, and being ready for anything and everything is difficult. Life can sometimes hit so hard that the strongest man will fall and cry sobbing. Crying inside and being calm outside, if it is not justified by the demands of life, is not healthy. Trying to remain calm is a worthy intention, but in a situation of acute pain it is rather erroneous: this is not a situation where goals must be achieved at any cost. If there is a sharp pain in the soul, you can cry, it is natural and normal. After that, it is important to quickly pull yourself together, get together and return to the life of a man - that is, a lot and often difficult work, work without unnecessary emotions and crying.

And then - make sure that emergency internal situations do not arise.

If we return to the analogy with the boiler, then a real man is a high-quality, durable and well-functioning boiler, which has enough power (internal strength) to solve any problems in normal mode, without any overheating and without emergency situations.

When a man cries, it is his, albeit small, defeat as a man. Men do not cry. If you are a man and you cry - you allowed yourself weakness, you did not keep track of yourself and brought the internal situation with emotions to an emergency. It's not scary, but for a man it's wrong. Next time, be stronger and more prepared.

Or be more calm about your tears, if it's just age. Yes, this is curious: somewhere after fifty years, male hormones are gradually washed out in the body of a man, men begin to acquire more feminine features and outlines, and more and more often - absolutely unexpectedly! - breaks a man to tears. Men's tears or the absence of tears is not only the result of one or another upbringing, it is also just a hormonal factor. And in this sense - age.

"Men don't cry" as a pedagogical suggestion to children

Women love to take care of the little and unfortunate, they love to feel sorry, but the result of such a female upbringing is a girl, not a boy. Rarely do boys cry, whom their parents taught in a difficult situation - to act. More often cry those children who do not know what to do. Children cry not just from pain, children cry for adults to be sorry. "Cry, cry, it will be easier!" - grandmothers tell their granddaughters: girls are being taught the norms of female behavior. “Men don’t cry,” fathers say to their sons so that they don’t turn into a crybaby. See →

Videos from Yana Happiness: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn't be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.

Men do not cry ”- from childhood, this position is taught to boys who should not show their tears, lose heart and become limp. This provision is being actively promoted, indicating that tears are a weakness of the stronger sex. However, nature gave lacrimal glands to both sexes, which already suggests that men also cry.

Advocacy for No Tears

Boys and girls are brought up differently. “A man should not cry” - with such instructions, parents and the whole society force the stronger sex not to show their tears. Boys shouldn't cry, but girls can. The propaganda of the absence of tears is actively based on hatred of the opposite sex. How it's done?

The boy is crying. What do adults say to him? "Why are you crying like a girl!" - that is, being a girl is bad, girls do it wrong that they cry, the boy turns into a kind of creature called "girl" when he cries. His natural impulses become something bad. What he wants to eat sometimes is not bad and does not compare with the bad creature "girl". And the fact that you want to cry when it hurts is already negatively perceived by others.

Not only should the boy not cry, but he is also set up for a negative attitude towards the opposite sex. Many stories are based on this soil, when already adult men and women cannot find a common language when tears appear. Mostly a woman cries, because she was allowed to cry from childhood. What happens to the man?

  • Some panic when a woman cries.
  • Others develop contempt for the fact that a woman cries.
  • Still others have a desire to do everything to stop the tears.

Why do men react so strangely to women's tears? Because their reaction pops up in the subconscious, which they developed when they themselves cried in childhood. If they were afraid to cry because their parents were arguing, then they will panic again, but in relation to other people's tears. If they were set up to humiliate the tears that are associated with the girlish manifestation of weakness, then it will manifest itself in adulthood. If a man is accustomed to avoiding tears by quickly changing from bad to good (when someone's whims are satisfied), then he will act accordingly.

Tears for a man become not only something forbidden, but also humiliating. To cry for a man means to show weakness. And only a woman can have weaknesses, while a man must always and in everything remain strong.

Public propaganda, perhaps, was originally aimed at raising strong personalities from men who do not lose heart and do not waste time on tears, but try to solve the problem as quickly as possible. However, the result of this manipulation has been a large number of weak men who simply hide their tears or otherwise show their grief.

Nature is much wiser: she gave lacrimal glands to both sexes. First, they secrete tears so that the eyeballs are cleansed of dirt and moisturized. Any person releases tear fluid, just not in the same amount as when crying.

Secondly, crying is completely normal. This allows you to emotionally discharge. It is said that women live longer than men. Some scientists are inclined to believe that this state of affairs is due to the fact that women are allowed to cry, that is, to discharge emotionally. And men accumulate negative, unexperienced emotions in themselves, which then come out along with bad deeds or are aimed at self-destruction (alcoholism, drug addiction, promiscuity, etc.).

If men did not cry, nature would not endow them with such lacrimal glands as women have. And this means that society cripples the psyche of men, which leads them to negative behavior. Nature allows men to cry, and sometimes they do.

Why do men cry?

Nothing human is alien to men. And the ability to cry is inherent in all people, regardless of gender. Despite the furious propaganda, when any member of the stronger sex is shamed for his tears, there are still moments when a man simply cannot help but cry. At such moments, he simply does not care what others think, because otherwise he will not psychologically withstand the stress. Why do men cry?

  1. Death of a loved one. In such a situation, psychologists do not recommend holding back their tears to anyone. Whether it be a man or a woman, if tears break out, then they should be thrown out.

Crying over the death of a loved one is a completely normal human reaction. Of course, men's tears at a funeral or after the news of death can cause bewilderment among others. However, in this situation, one really should not give a damn about public opinion.

A man is experiencing grief, a serious loss. It is quite normal to cry in such a situation and it is not normal, on the contrary, not to cry, especially when it comes to a person close to a man.

  1. Physical pain. Although boys are taught not to cry because of physical pain, it is because of this that tears can occur. Of course, when hit on the head or wounded, a man will endure and not cry (as adults taught in childhood). However, with pain all over the body or with a toothache, a man may not be able to stand it.

Pain threshold in men is lower than in women. This is why, during a serious illness, women may not cry, unlike men. This is not due to self-hypnosis, but to actual physical experiences. Men feel pain much more acutely than women, so they can get emotional.

Most often, tears in a man can be seen in the dentist's office after pulling out a nerve or as a result of a complex painful operation. Toothache is very difficult to endure. Here, tears sometimes flow on their own, regardless of the gender of the person.

  1. Poverty, loss of property. The main task of a man is to achieve material (financial) prosperity. If overnight a man loses all this, then he may experience deep despair, accompanied by tears.

Imagine losing something you've been working on for years. All your time, effort, resources, health has been spent on achieving or acquiring some kind of success. And then you lose everything in an instant. What to do? Where to run? From the realization that nothing can be changed, tears naturally arise.

A man will cry if he loses a large amount of money, property or business, for which he has spent many years and effort. Here he will not only cry, but also want to drink or commit any other ridiculous act. The loss of material wealth seems to tell a man that he is a loser. His actions caused him to lose everything. Anyone can feel here.

  1. Care of a woman. Of course, few people know and talk about such situations, since men prefer to do it alone and not disclose to anyone about the manifestation of crying.

Parting and breaking up relationships leads to tears not only for a woman, but also for a man. Since the stronger sex prefers to cry alone, it may seem to many that they steadfastly and calmly endure the departure of women. In fact, if a man loved and did not want to leave, he will cry just like a woman does. He simply will not show his words even to friends and will not tell anyone about how he went through his experiences.

  1. Betrayal of a friend. We are talking here about those friends whom the man trusted, told everything, considered the most faithful and devoted. If suddenly such a “real friend” hits a man in the back, then this will certainly cause crying.

What causes tears? Due to the fact that the man is very disappointed, he realizes his own stupidity, which he committed against a friend, and the hopelessness of the situation. When you completely trust someone, you do not expect a dirty trick. If a person does not justify trust, this causes a natural reaction in the form of tears.

  1. Birth of a child. Perhaps such a situation will cause crying in any person, regardless of age and gender. A man may cry if he himself was present at the birth or heard the first cry of his baby. Usually, tears arise when a man has a first-born, which he has been waiting for for a long time.

Men usually do not attend births. However, it doesn't matter. If a man is expecting a baby, then his crying accumulates during all those months of pregnancy that he knows about. He worries, worries that everything will be fine with the baby. When a baby is finally born, it brings tears of happiness/joy. A man rejoices at the appearance of his long-awaited child.

  1. child's achievements. Another man may cry when his child has certain achievements. Here we are talking about those achievements that a man seems significant. For example, a man wanted his boy to learn archery or his girl to marry a decent wealthy partner.

When a man sees that his child has achieved the success that he expected from him, it brings tears. Crying in this case is also a manifestation of happiness. A man rejoices that it can be such a strong emotion that tears involuntarily arise.

Weaknesses of the stronger sex

In fact, the stronger sex does not have so many weaknesses. Men really from childhood get used not to cry, that is, to hold back their tears, without showing them to anyone or even showing them. That is why there are much fewer situations when a man cries than there are reasons for women to cry.

Can men's tears be called weakness? In fact, if there is a reason for crying that touches the soul so much that the tears themselves break out, then there can be no talk of weakness. Men also tend to cry, especially if emotions are overwhelming and tears cannot be held back.

The strong sex shows weakness only when it starts to cry for any reason. Often women use tears as a manipulation. If a man resorts to the same behavior, then we can say that he is weak.

It should be understood that men are also weak simply because they are living beings. Any person cries, which helps him emotionally discharge. For men, this is useful in a situation where the emotions of despair or joy are so overwhelming that it is impossible to restrain oneself. It is better not to hide your tears, but to show them so that emotions no longer put pressure on the psyche and do not interfere with sober thinking.

Here one piece of advice is given to women: if a man cries, then you should show him the same sympathy that you would like to see in your address when you feel bad.

Outcome

Men also cry, even though society programs them from childhood not to do this. But strength lies not in whether a man cries or not, but in whether he copes with his problems. Tears occur in men for various reasons. If they give emotional relaxation in the end, then they provide invaluable help.

Why do men cry?

A crying man is rarely seen. So mother nature and human morality ordered that the stronger sex experiences the events of her life in most cases “dry”, only occasionally allowing herself to “soak” emotions. So why is the man crying? What can make a man "shed a mean tear"?

Perhaps the main motivation male tears- helplessness, the inability to change something, to find a way out of the situation. Nothing can upset a man more than his own impotence in the face of life's troubles and problems. There are many variants of such helplessness. Someone is hurt and hurt to tears when the father offends the mother, but it is impossible to intervene. Someone cries when a woman leaves (and not necessarily a loved one, they just “took away a toy”). Someone sheds a tear from laziness and anger: an ambitious colleague went around in his career, a neighbor earns twice as much, a younger brother built a luxurious dacha. I also really want all this, but I have neither the strength nor the desire to get up and start acting - laziness.

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Some are ready to cry out of pity for their beloved (“no one understands and appreciates me”, “life has passed”). There are representatives of the stronger sex who throw tantrums, hoping to arouse compassion and sympathy from loved ones, especially women with a strong character. Most often, this is not only a manifestation of weakness, but also a request from a “little boy” for help.

involuntary men's tears can be triggered by physical pain, such as when the dentist has pinched a nerve, or when the nose is bruised, when the impact stimulates the lacrimal glands. Also, everyone's pain threshold is different. By the way, "physiological" tears come out of many when cutting onions, and when the saying " laugh to tears" works.

force man cry maybe the loss of someone close to you: relatives, friends. True, at the time of the tragedy, paradoxically, men rarely cry. Grief does not cover them immediately, at first they rush, like an embrasure, onto a pile of problems that have piled on them, but when the chores are left behind, there is nothing to hide from trouble, the man relaxes, being alone with his grief, and then gives free rein tears.

Another reason why the stronger sex can be touched is the game, from football to computer shooters. Yes, yes, our men are big children, the game for them remains the main entertainment for life, and they remain gamblers in it until old age. Losing or winning causes a storm of emotions in men. We see tears of joy from victory among the athletes standing on the podium, and there is no doubt about their fortitude and masculinity, the losers in the competition are crying too. And on the "opposite side", in the stands, in front of the TV screens, hundreds of strong guys also let out a tear. Surprisingly, according to statistics, from 15 to 25% of those present at sports arenas during decisive competitions men cry because of the defeat or victory of his favorite team.

Men are just as, and sometimes more, sentimental than women. They able to cry from joy and empathy, being present at the birth of a child, from tenderness, having heard the first “dad” of a little son, from nostalgia, being in the yard of his childhood.

Yes, adult men tend to cry infrequently. This is due, first of all, to a certain level of hormones, little subject to fluctuations, while in women it changes all the time, which affects their physical and mental state. In addition, in our time, from an early age, boys are told: "Don't cry, you're a man!" So they grow up with a “program” not to cry, not to show their emotions under any circumstances, so as not to appear in the eyes of those around them as a rag, a nurse, a weakling. Meanwhile, the thesis that real men don't cry, appeared relatively recently. In ancient Greece, where brutality was elevated to an absolute cult, men's tears were considered a manifestation of generosity, nobility of feelings. Our ancestors were convinced that only a strong person can afford to openly show their emotions, while a weak one depends on the opinions of others and is afraid of general ridicule.)

I found my neighbor in tears, he recently lost his father and mother. I sat with him for four hours, like a stranger, but ... This involuntary "nakedness" of him resonated in me with something piercing and now, when we meet, we don't just throw "hello" - we meet with a look. He remains for me as strong and courageous as he was before, just now I know for sure that I will never reproach a man for tears, because these four hours were in my life.

Men also cry, and this is the harsh truth of life. Why not, after all? They are people like us and have the right to express emotions. But, unfortunately, some men not only cry, but also whine. If this is a one-time action of spleen, then it's nothing - how not to console your loved one! It’s much worse when a man is torn about (Manchester are relegated from the Champions League) and without (you washed his happy white t-shirt with a red sock on his chest). You have a professional whiner in front of you, and you will have to mess with him if he ...

Our expert: ANASTASIA UMANSKAYA,
psychologist, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league.
www.anastasia-um.livejournal.com

SUFFERS
FROM LIFE IN GENERAL Prototype: donkey Eeyore.
He can be recognized by the words: “Everything is going well, but by” and the famous “I myself am so unhappy - without gifts and without a birthday cake, and generally forgotten and abandoned.”
If I were Vitya's wife, I would go around with earplugs. Or regularly called an ambulance psychiatric at home. Anyone will be driven mad by constant complaints about the roads, neighbors, neighbors dog and the rest of the world. If it rains in the morning, it is only so that Vitya gets wet on the way to work, gets sick and dies in agony. If the sun is shining, then only to make Vitya feel hot, he undresses, gets sick and ... Well, you understand. But recently, Vitya has a girlfriend, Nina, who is a laugher and an optimist. Maybe she takes antidepressants or wears earplugs, I don't know. But even Vitya began to look at life more cheerfully and now says that not everyone will die in 2012: the elect will still be saved.
Psychologist's explanation: It is difficult to help such people: there are many problems, but there are no ways to solve them all. The complainant does not understand that he creates his own mood. In the depths of his view of the world may lie an internal "ban on joy", formed in childhood. For example, if the parents saw only the gloomy side of life, the child adopts this attitude. Trying to re-educate a complainer is a utopian occupation. If a person is comfortable living with such a mood, but you are not, this is your problem. Vitya was lucky with the girl: the laughing Nina can inspire him with her example, because she does not seek to remake, but simply lives nearby in a different way.

SUFFERS
FROM MANIFESTATIONS OF REALITY
Prototype: Pierrot.
He can be recognized by his adoring look and the words: “Malvina, my bride is gone ...” and “I am crying, I don’t know where to go!”.
In the life of every girl there should be a chivalric romance. Not necessarily Roman, for example, I had Seryozha. He fell in love instantly and monumentally. Apparently, the fact that Serezha was an ardent fan of role-playing games had an effect, and every Sunday, scaring passers-by, he marched in armor to the park to represent one of the light elves in the battles for good. And to whom should one dedicate one's military exploits, if not to an elf? The technological XXI century oppressed Serezha, but he dodged as best he could: he gave flowers, surrounded me with tender care. This two-meter hen constantly clucked, no matter how I got a cold in my neck and wet my legs. True, we never went on dates to restaurants, because princesses do not eat. I got tired of being a goddess and ran away. Seeing me with Igor, Seryozha was not surprised. Finally, he had a worthy cause for suffering. And every week he sent me small-written notebooks, where my betrayal was sung in the most exalted terms. I realized: you just can’t get off the pedestal.
Psychologist's explanation: The reason for this attitude may be the belief that love is associated with pain. Following his inner program, a person finds a reason to suffer. Also, the basis of "chivalry" may be the idealization of a woman and the feeling of being "unworthy" next to her. Many girls like it at first. But the further, the less satisfaction the novel brings. After all, the “knight” sees before him not a living person, but an exalted ideal, the destruction of which means collapse. Such relationships often occur at a distance - the closer you get to a person, the more the imaginary image diverges from life. The other extreme is when the romance develops and the "knight" becomes a domestic tyrant, trying to reshape the woman to fit his ideal. A happy union is possible only if both meet in needs. For example, one will change, and the other will change. But, alas, this is rare.

SUFFERS
TO MANIPULATE
Prototype: Carlson, who lives on the roof.
He can be recognized by the words: “You are lucky if I were in your place ...” and the famous “You promised that you would be my own mother, but you are busy stuffing your mouth with sweets.”
I never liked this fairy tale: Carlson flew in, flew away, and the Kid took the rap! It's good that I had a chance to miss such a character in my life. But my neighbor Luda was unlucky in life. “Oh, how he courted,” Luda recalls. “The statue of the Motherland could not stand it and fled with him to the ends of the world.” A man with a romantic name Valentin beautifully seduced Lyudmila. Traces of his courtship were constantly found in the entrance: either a path of rose petals to the door, or a basket with dried orchids near the garbage chute. The girl did not resist. The suitor moved in with her, and it all ended before it even started. Val was fired. “It’s good for you,” he sighed from the sofa, “you are busy with business, and I have to hang around at home.” Lyudochka rushed to console him, then with three transfers she went to the office, and after work she ran to cook dinner. Valya said that the melancholy interferes with housework, otherwise he would have made such a pasta - you will lick your fingers. Luda listened and did not notice how the mythical noodle pasta settled on her ears. But one day, when Valya was recovering his health in a foam bath, Luda returned home early and looked at the computer. On the mail page opened by Valya, an unfamiliar girl showed her breasts and asked "Amur Valentine" when they could meet in real life. “I prescribed an antidepressant for him right on the spot,” Lyuda shares proudly and nods at the family cast-iron frying pan. I think the Motherland would be proud of her.
Psychologist's explanation: Everyone manipulates loved ones, but more often unconsciously. Seeing once that the method works, a person repeats attempts to achieve his goal in this way. Another thing is that the manipulator needs an object. The only way to fight is not to succumb to provocations. It is important to understand what is behind this behavior. Maybe a need for care or recognition?

SUFFERS
BECAUSE HE IS A GENIUS
Prototype: L. Tolstoy, S. Yesenin, A. Pushkin and many others.
It can be recognized by the words: “The muse left me” and by the famous “I languish, I die, I go out with a fiery soul.”
To tolerate a genius, one must be at least Sofya Andreevna. The husband, in anguish, either gathers on foot to America, or calls her “crazy,” and she meekly answers: “Poor Levochka.” Holy! My friend Anya followed in the footsteps of Countess Tolstoy, unable to resist the greatness of a potential genius. By the time he met the girl, the writer Igor had published two books about the life of aliens and was actively working on the third. He had neither the strength nor the time to courtship, so the second date ended with Anya moving to a genius. Igor had a unique talent to create chaos around himself, he constantly demanded attention and moped because of the lack of a muse. “You see, I need inspiration,” he explained to Anya, gathering with friends in a nightclub. “Pushkin was also constantly flirting with other women.” To remind that Pushkin ended badly, Anya did not dare. But in the end, she could not stand the torments of her beloved and threatened to leave. Igor was afraid of the collapse of an established life and agreed to treat crises by other means. Now they are together looking for inspiration in Indian ashrams, and Igor is going to write a new novel about yoga.
Psychologist's explanation: Genius is a rarity, and his companion really has to devote her whole life to him. More often there are creative people prone to mood swings. It is difficult to find support in such men. They strive for the type of relationship where the beloved replaces the mother. Often these families remain childless, because one “child” already exists. The main way of psychological work with such people is to help them realize that they themselves are responsible for their mood. Although in the case of Igor, Anya achieved the effect by showing her lover the possible consequences of his behavior.
P.S. And it also happens that on the basis of personal cataclysms, a man who yesterday rode a shopping cart around the supermarket with cheerful cries of “Razz get out, newbies!” Today sadly wanders around the house and asks how the word “testament” is spelled. “We are brought up so that men's failure attracts more attention than women's. In times of crisis, a man really needs faith in his strength, says Anastasia Umanskaya. “But people understand support differently. Before you rush to save your loved one, ask him: “What can I do for you?” And on my own behalf, I’ll say that such girl’s joys as a good comedy, massage and meeting with friends help men too. The main thing is not to overdo it with wine and advice and remember that the phrase “You have problems, do you want to talk about them?” sounds good only in cheap serials. A simple confession will have a much greater effect: “You are the best, I love you!”