"Pink" love of two great actresses - rivals
Greta - from the German "Pearl". She was such a lonely pearl, slightly shimmering in the darkness of a slightly ajar mother-of-pearl shell. Do you think Greta Garbo was a fragile, delicate blonde with long black eyelashes? And how do you like wide shoulders and 42nd leg size? And the habit of talking about yourself in the masculine gender? She could, shocking the audience at a social event in Hollywood, invite a girl to dance and spend her with a passionate kiss. Her colleague Marlene Dietrich, as if jokingly, claimed: “I think that Garbo is generally a man!”
Greta Garbo - "Ice Shards of the Mirror"
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Greta Gustafson from childhood was known as a strange, unsociable and terribly shy girl. She was also left-handed. The family was poor, and they even wanted to give the baby to be raised by rich neighbors. But still, she stayed at home and after the death of her father at the age of fifteen she got a job in a haberdashery store, either as a saleswoman, or as a model in the hat department, in a word, different people could finally notice her behind the window.
And they noticed that the local aristocrat Max Gampel could not resist the cold beauty of a naive girl and, having surrounded her with unusual courtship, soon got married. Having been married for a very short time, Greta felt homesick and filed for divorce. There were no visible reasons, just as there were none later, in the days of parting with her next admirers and admirers. There were no explanations. Well, she was tired of relationships, of the annoying closeness of other people, of the need to observe etiquette and close family life.
She was only sixteen, and a year later this cold undine beauty, wide shoulder span and narrow hips of a swimmer was noticed by the director of the movie "Tramp Peter". So she first appeared on the screen as an athlete, and soon other directors began to invite her to act in films.
In Hollywood, she appeared in 1926, absolutely unlike any popular film star. At one of the noisy parties, director Moritz Stiller noticed her, aloof, indifferently smoking at the bar. In her transparent icy eyes, the riddle of the sphinx was read. That's how she was later called in Hollywood by these dexterous, buffed-up guys and these envious, nimble brunettes, with scarlet doll-like lips and black curled cilia.
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Without thinking twice, Stiller invited the young maiden to appear, and at the same time came up with a chic pseudonym for her - Garbo. Short, beautiful and not as boring as with this whistling-hissing “f”. She agreed. What was she to do? And what did she have? A suitcase with a change of linen and two nondescript dresses, two flirty hats - in memory of the native store, and not a single customer, i.e. not a single acquaintance for hundreds of kilometers. Her whitish eyelashes did not dry out at night with tears, her English was incomprehensible and strange. The first film with Stiller was called Flow. The reviews of critics were comforting, and very soon Miss Garbo was carried by a stormy stream along the steep boulders of Hollywood life.
"Flesh and the Devil"
Suffering from her emotional alertness, Greta diligently tried on other people's clothes in front of the mirror. emotional states. In life, she still remained a cold mermaid, and no brilliantly performed roles brought the actress one iota closer to normal. women's life. Not a single actor could boast of being close to her.
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In Flesh and the Devil, she starred with the handsome John Gilbert (pictured), the most popular silent film actor since the death of Rudolfo Valentino. The train of the note heartthrob trailed behind him for many years. He was subdued by Greta without any effort on her part. She came, burned with an icy look and quite unexpectedly agreed to move in with him. But "to him" was also strange. John had to build a separate cottage for his beloved next to his house. There, in the shade of familiar Scandinavian pines, she received rare guests, but mostly retired and, it seems, meditated.
Gilbert carefully began to insist on marriage, Garbo weakly resisted, but at one fine moment unexpectedly agreed. Amazed and subdued, John busied himself with the preparations for the wedding. The bride still did not participate in everyday chores, allowing herself to be showered with gifts and huge armfuls of flowers.
She still played her favorite role again - she suddenly disappeared from a pretty cottage, just on the eve of the announced wedding ceremony. No one could understand what caused the flight. She returned when the passions and rumors had already subsided, not at all pitying poor John. He was very unlucky, this ruthless bon vivant. And then there was the sound film that pushed the Great Silent, and Gilbert's voice turned out to be inappropriate for his brilliant appearance. He should not, after all, should not have left his former wife, actress Beatrice Joy, so cruelly in the last month of pregnancy.
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In the spring of 1929, the name of Greta Garbo was mentioned for the first time next to the name of a rising star, German actress Marlene Dietrich (pictured). Two Hollywood studios MGM and Paramount competed with each other by signing contracts with two beautiful Europeans. Both are platinum blondes with high cheekbones and light eyes. Both speak English with a strange accent, both carry an aura of mystery and, finally, both are immensely talented.
There was another similarity - both were friends with the writer Mercedes De Acosta (pictured), known for her unconventional views on female friendship. Greta's attitude towards sexual minorities in general manifested itself quite a long time ago. Even at a young age, she boldly announced it, appearing at the funeral of the great film director Friedrich Murnau among eleven daredevils who dared to confess their homosexual inclinations. Marlene Dietrich, recalling how gorgeous she herself looked in a tailcoat and top hat, remarked in surprise: “Garbo in men's clothing looked terrible - which is very strange, because everyone said that she was from the Girl Scouts.
Be that as it may, Greta affectionately became friends with Mercedes De Acosta. According to the memoirs of Dietrich herself, Greta turned out to be a terrible stingy woman, almost starved her beloved, and even “twisted on the side”, in the words of an objective German woman. And once she treated this unfortunate Latin woman so cruelly that Marlene simply could not help comforting the poor thing. The "cruel Swede" was replaced by a "brilliant aristocrat" - they reasoned in Hollywood, briefly distracted from the discussion of cinematic masterpieces.
But still, Mercedes - "Raphael" for many years remained Greta's most faithful friend. Pink violets - flowers symbolizing lesbian relationships, were mentioned by them in letters to each other. These messages marked "Secret" were kept in the archive for a long time, but even open ones did not clarify the riddles of Garbo's "sphinx". It seemed that there was nothing of true feelings in these lines. Only the words “my sweet”, “my boy” are a banal set from the lexicon of two lovers of pink violets.
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Mercedes De Acosto |
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Mercedes, who signed love letters with romantic pseudonyms "Raphael" and "White Prince", rushed between her two chosen ones. In a letter to Marlene, she describes in detail her attitude towards Greta: “I don’t even understand myself. I only know that in my feelings I created an image of a person who does not exist. My mind sees a real person, a Swedish maid with a face touched by God, but only interested in money, her health, sex, food and sleep. However, her face deceives the mind, and her soul turns her into something that helps the deception. I really love her, but I love only the person I created, and not the one who actually exists ... "
What else will this strange Swede do? She suddenly becomes interested in director Ruben Mamulyan. He is handsome and elegant. Gray East Coast Ivy League flannel jacket, Brooks Brothers shirts, polished shoes on high heels. Always patient and calm. What prompted this perfect man contact Garbo - shrouded in a veil of secrecy.
There was one story. Once Greta promised Mercedes to go with her on a trip somewhere to the north. Friends bought warm clothes for both - Greta, who was reputed to be more than economical, preferred to puzzle others. The clothes were purchased and placed in the trunk of a car parked in front of Mercedes' house. But after some time, when the expectations of the "White Prince" overflowed the cup of patience, it turned out that the treacherous Greta left with Mamulyan, and in the opposite direction from the north.
Inconsolable Mercedes again threw herself into Marlene's arms. And she told her daughter many years later scary story about how, having got to a small hospital near Santa Monica with a sore throat, she was surprised to find out that Garbo was lying there, infected with a “bad” disease.
It's strange, but Dietrich and Garbo "divided" Mamulyan as well. He staged the Song of Songs with Marlene and remained a fan of hers for many years to come.
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Here's the story! And John Gilbert, Greta's failed husband, also falls in love with Marlene! How much we learn about him, again, not from the silent Greta, but from the letter of the talkative Marlene: “Perhaps Gilbert is the very strong personality that you dream of finding, and when you find it, you start to be afraid. You say to yourself: live alone if you cannot find someone to whom you want to belong and for whom you are the happiness of your whole life. But there is such a person - and you do not want him.
Poor Gilbert died of a heart attack on a winter morning in 1936 in Marlene's bed. She barely managed to avoid a loud scandal, hastily and secretly leaving the house.
And Greta? Greta steadfastly survived the loss. In general, in her whole life she did not visit the grave of a single loved one. And besides, at that time she began an affair, however, absolutely chaste, with the great conductor Leopold Stokowski (pictured). But this time, Fortune, abruptly turning around, gave the actress a surprise. Stokowski, with whom she met down the aisle, married a millionaire - the notorious Vanderbildiha, named Gloria, which means "Glory" in Russian.
Garbo withdraws more and more into himself. She refuses to be photographed for the press, give interviews and give autographs. No PR, as the modern impresario would say with horror. On the set, special screens were installed, except for the director, cameraman and illuminators - not a single living soul. Make-up artist - on special call.
"Anna Karenina", "Lady with Camellias" - female images, saturated with love and passion, still had nothing to do with the brilliant performer. The idol of millions of viewers refuses to accept even the gift of an admiring admirer who bequeaths his entire fortune in her favor. Millions were donated by Greta to the Charity Fund. They say she did not even remember the name of the donor.
Greta Garbo's latest film, Two-Faced Woman, does not bring her satisfaction, and the audience did not consider it an achievement. It seems to have been a parody of her own life.
She is 36 years old. “I decided not to act again,” the actress declares and disappears, disappears again, this time for good. Under an assumed name, she hides in her luxurious apartment in New York, occasionally leaving for a resort in Switzerland. Half a century of seclusion and silence. Half a century of loneliness and non-vanity. Half a century alone with a mirror...
"Strange, very strange..."
They say that Greta Garbo loved to endlessly repeat this nothing meaningful phrase. It is strangeness that can explain her many years of incomprehensible relationship with the famous English photographer Cecil Beaton (pictured). They were introduced to each other back in 1932 by the same Mercedes De Acosta. But only fourteen years later, Garbo for some reason decided to renew their acquaintance. She allowed him alone to photograph herself, with him alone she had long, frank conversations, walking unrecognized in Central Park. Cecil dared to propose to Greta, and, again, quite unexpectedly, she agreed. Everything could have ended with a wedding this time, if… If Beaton hadn't made a fatal mistake. He handed over the photographs of his beloved to the Vogue magazine - professional ambitions turned out to be higher than love. Greta could not forgive the betrayal and stopped all relations with a friend.
Several more times, Beaton unsuccessfully repeated attempts to reconcile with Garbo, confessing his love to her and begging for forgiveness. But she was adamant, however, as always. In 1972, Cecil Beaton published his diaries, which contained many words about his mysterious lover. "Is there anyone who would overshadow her magnetism, her full of romance and exotic personality?" But there were still a lot of details, not so grandiloquent and complimentary: “In life, she is superstitious and suspicious, she does not know the meaning of the word “friendship”. She is also unable to love ... "Of course, these diaries instantly became a bestseller, but the relationship, which already did not exist, turned into hummocked ice ...
In 1980, a lady wrapped in a thick veil entered the ward of the dying Cecil Beaton. It was Greta Garbo. She came to forgive and say goodbye. Yellow flowers brought to the hospital bed meant "the end of the novel."
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"Two-faced Woman" Greta Garbo died in 1990, leaving a huge fortune and a lot of rumors, mysteries and assumptions, never refuted. The pearl tightly and silently closed the mother-of-pearl doors of its magnificent shell ...
How often to create an excellent mood, a pleasant atmosphere in a romantic relationship, you want to bring something new, zest, a light fresh breeze. For this, we suggest looking at cute, bright, beautiful photos about love soaked in tenderness. Yes, real lovers are often filmed on them, posing with pleasure in front of the lens and giving pleasure not only to themselves, but also to people who will look at these frames and receive a charge of vivacity.
Many will get a lot of pleasure from work that is saturated with love energy. Photographers have the opportunity to borrow a couple of new ideas for themselves, which will be successfully implemented and the new couple will be happy, having received excellent shots in the collection, and the photographer who did a brilliant job and gave pleasure to the lovers. After all, beautiful photos about love will remain in the family album and, after a while, the couple will again admire their happiness.
Photoshop, Lightroom, Adobe Lightroom and many others are often used to create love-themed photos. Also at the disposal of both a beginner and a professional, a set of hot keys that allow you to process a lot of frames. They also allow you to deal with such defects as:
- Distortion.
- The aberration is chromatic.
- Vignetting.
The Lightroom program allows you to eliminate imperfections in a matter of seconds. After processing the photos, they become flawless and delight the owners.
A picture about love is inspiration, passion, fire, desire, happiness. It is a photo that can capture a moment that expresses sincere feelings and save it. In the collection of beautiful photos about love there are hearts and kisses, tender hugs and unbridled passion, passionate feelings and tender romance, sparkle in the eyes and a sincere smile, and perhaps it is sadness, sadness, longing, but it is also riddled with bright emotions.
The frames have the opportunity to announce the entries: I love you, miss you, I'm sorry, smile, hug.
It is now fashionable to take photographs in retro style or in black and white.
Looking at a kiss or passion in the picture, there is a desire to confess your feelings yourself and you should not be shy about it. Hugs are never too much tender words, affectionate kisses. If you want to express your feelings, then send your loved one a beautiful photo about love, and he will immediately understand what you want to tell him.
Love each other, miss each other, talk about your feelings and be sure to take photos as a keepsake. A beautiful photo about love is a classic that will never go out of fashion, and for lovers it is a new frame in the piggy bank of their romantic story.
The problem of sexual orientation is quite acute in modern society. Same-sex love in any form, both the relationship between a man and a man, and for most people, is associated with something unnatural, negative and unacceptable. Previously, it was believed that the manifestation of feelings and passion between two members of the fair sex is a direct referral to a clinic for the mentally ill. Is it that scary? Why do some ladies prefer stronger sex like yourself? What provokes the development of such relationships and what does love between women lead to? Modern psychology provides answers to these questions.
Behavioral features of women
According to numerous studies, females are more sensitive and emotional than males. Nature itself endowed women with the ability to love and have strong feelings towards men, create a family and give birth to children. However, under the influence of numerous life factors, the psyche and innate behavioral characteristics of the beautiful half of humanity undergo serious changes. Modern life sometimes forces women to take over part of men's duties, to perform difficult physical work and play uncharacteristic roles in society. All this provokes changes in the character and personal qualities of the fairer sex.
Causes
Same-sex relationships among beautiful ladies can develop on their own, regardless of age and previous sexual orientation of a person. There are times when, before meeting a new partner, a girl had a fairly strong love relationship with a man, but after that she preferred love between women.
In addition to the most inexplicable emergence of passion for a person of the same sex, building such relationships can be provoked by social factors, upbringing, environment, LGBT propaganda, as well as negative experiences with a representative of the opposite sex.
Trying to discover something new
Most people on various experiments in sexual life are driven by curiosity. For example, some use escort services (phone sex, order "priestesses of love") or resort to communicating with representatives of another race. So what is the difference between the relationship between women, the love that arises between them? All this is the same experiment, a kind of way to diversify personal life, which is decided by uncomplexed, free-thinking individuals, while fully aware of their actions and deeds. Some of the fair sex is trying in this way to feel what exactly a man experiences when touching a woman, caring for and enjoying intimacy with her.
Propaganda
What has recently been broadcast on TV, as well as in various Internet communities, is nothing more than indirect propaganda of lesbian relations. Celebrities of show business openly demonstrate their sexual orientation, showing how fashionable and modern it is, and in some countries there are rallies of LGBT activists.
Provocations of this kind have no effect on the hardened minds of mature personalities. Mostly under the influence of propaganda fall young girls, teenagers with a fragile psyche. Then the love of a woman for another woman develops under the influence of external suggestion, it is dominated by a game for the public to a greater extent. Freshmen and high school students are often not aware of their actions; this kind of relationship ends at a more mature age - up to 20 years.
Alcohol
Man's desire
Passion, female love to a woman may be caused by the desire of a husband / long-term male sexual partner to try a threesome. It has been proven that some men are especially turned on by lesbian games and many of them would like to make such fantasies come true. It is worth noting that women easily agree to such experiments, not resisting such strange dreams. They are motivated mainly by the fear of losing a lover, jealousy, curiosity and the desire to satisfy a partner. However, such a one-time relationship can develop into a new relationship, where the man becomes the third wheel.
Dissatisfaction
As well as dissatisfaction with her, it can provoke same-sex love: 2 women will be united by the desire to get as many positive emotions as possible from intercourse. Recently, many different articles have appeared that say that ladies know better what they themselves need, because a woman’s love for a woman can only bring positive and positive energy charge. Of course, after reading information of this kind, a girl who is dissatisfied with heterosexual relationships and disappointed in love will risk trying the forbidden fruit. Often this ends in a long union or bad experience.
Dissatisfaction can be provoked by male egoism, the desire to bring more pleasure to yourself than to your partner. Therefore, the female subconscious erects a kind of wall in front of relationships with the representatives of the stronger sex, which makes the person radically change his sexual orientation.
Fear of pregnancy
Despite their main natural purpose - to bear and give birth to offspring - some representatives of the weaker sex experience fear of pregnancy and the very fact of conceiving a child. This pushes them into an unnatural relationship - the love of a woman for a woman. The very realization that it is impossible to get pregnant from a person of the same sex with you allows them to relax and enjoy sex.
About love between women: psychological trauma
This factor refers to both emotional and physical abuse, as well as misunderstanding on the part of the person’s environment, children and the Family are the main social factor that influences the development of the individual. A negative attitude towards a girl in childhood, physical abuse by her father, his betrayal or sexual abuse - all this affects the preferences of an adult in terms of sexual orientation in the future.
A woman's love for a woman can develop not only due to "ghosts" from childhood and psychological trauma received during this period. The first negative sexual experience with a man, ridicule and bullying from peers of the opposite sex leave an unfilled gap in the psyche of a woman. For her, communication with a man becomes painful, and intimacy becomes something unnatural and unpleasant. In this connection, a woman begins to seek solace in relationships with a representative of the same sex.
Psychologists believe that the love of two women, based on psychological trauma and fears received at any stage of human development, does not bring positive emotions, they psychological problem requiring correction, and in some cases, treatment.
Woman with a girl: love and sex. Men's attitude
Most representatives of the strong half of humanity are positive about the love and intimacy of two women. This is due to erotic fantasies, where girls participate in sexual games, and a man is a direct observer, and sometimes a participant in intercourse.
Some believe that individuals with similar sexual preferences are excellent friends, companions for men. However, in reality, everything can be different: in addition to non-traditional orientation, women can be ardent fans of feminism and, as a result, haters of males.
The love of beautiful women for each other can be perceived negatively. Among men who do not accept any manifestation of homosexuality, including female, it is generally accepted that a person should follow his original destiny - creating a family and procreation, and any inconsistency with natural attitudes and instincts is a manifestation of mental deviations. Similar opinions are also found in heterosexual women, but the weaker sex is more inclined to sympathize and feel sorry for people with a different sexual orientation.
Religion
Almost all official world religions consider the manifestation of homosexuality a sin. Despite the loyalty of modern society in Western countries towards LGBT people, most of the Christian and Catholic churches, as well as Islam, do not accept individuals who openly declare their sexual preferences in favor of people of the same sex with them. Religious principles say that such phenomena are a fall from grace, since initially God intended marriage, the union of the loving hearts of a man and a woman, which gives rise to new life.
Recently, however, in some Catholic churches and communities there has been a tendency to accept homosexuality as such and openly support sexual minorities.
What does a relationship look like in a couple of two women
There is an opinion that in a same-sex family life, both partners behave like ordinary housewives: they cook, clean, do laundry, spend evenings together watching melodramas and romantic films, while empathizing with the heroes of films.
This is far from true. In each of the relationships are built on the same principle as in heterosexual couples. One of the women takes a stronger, masculine position, and the other, respectively, a feminine one. For example, a partner with an expressed desire to protect, protect and provide for the family will work and play the role of a husband. The second will perform the main women's duties: cook food, keep the house clean.
The opinion of psychologists
It is believed that if a person is comfortable in a relationship with a person of the same sex as him, then this does not require any treatment and attention from specialists. However, if a person experiences a certain discomfort, does not fail to constantly publicly declare his involvement in a particular sexual minority, and also openly demonstrates his relationship in the presence of minors, these are signs of mental disorders.
It is worth noting that female homosexuality itself is not considered a disease in modern psychology and psychiatry. In most cases, a woman's attraction to a woman is determined by a defensive reaction to painful relationships with men, dissatisfaction with sexual life, and violence. But it also happens that a woman simply meets a man of the same sex, falls in love with him for reasons that are inexplicable and incomprehensible to her, and creates a couple with him.
Love is different. Mutual, not mutual, happy and not very ... In any case, this refers to love between representatives of different sexes. For some reason, same-sex love relationships are never taken into account. Why? Perhaps the concept of same-sex love does not exist, since such feelings cannot exist?Why love arises between two people who are strangers to each other, no one knows even now. How many centuries scientists have been trying to deduce the formula of love, but it just slips out of their hands. We only know that between a man and a woman there is an attraction to each other in order to continue the human race. For the same reason, it is believed that a girl cannot feel something "such" for a girl.
As you know, a person has a soul. Now there is such a statement as the transmigration of souls after the death of a person. That is, today's girl could be a guy in a past life, which is why she is attracted to girls, since the soul has not yet realized that she was reborn, and this time into a girl's body. But in our opinion, this is a primitive statement. Yes, love arises on a spiritual level also. But lesbian love does not always remain only at this level. Often, pink girls behave one with one in the same way as opposite-sex couples. Same what's the matter? Perhaps a thing in that occult past life? For example, in a past life, a girl was very offended by her beloved boyfriend. Or, even worse, some man mocked her, she was married against her will, and the like. And this caused a deep disgust for the relationship between a woman and a man. Only friendly, nothing more. Having been born again, a person forgets his past life. But somewhere deep in the subconscious, the soul remembers those grievances and is terribly afraid of repetition, and because of this, the girl in her new life, without wanting it and not noticing it, receives a conviction and a subconscious desire to have relationships only with girls.
In the modern world, every person first of all wants to take care of himself and his family. And therefore it is strange that problems arise when girls in public show that they are "not like others." In my opinion, you shouldn't judge others, especially when you don't understand them. Every person has the right to happiness. And it doesn't matter that someone can get it by falling in love with the opposite sex, and someone with their own ... If you take a biological look at the lesbian attitude, it's unnatural. But even more unnatural is to deceive other people by pretending to be straight. It is much worse when a girl lives with a guy, pretending to love him, but in fact, she feels nothing but disgust for him and their relationship.
Yes, same-sex couples will not be able to have children, girls' parents will not become grandparents, but! - No other children. After all, most same-sex couples want to adopt a child who, mind you, was abandoned by a "normal" couple. Perhaps gays and lesbians are people who were created by God so that, if they could not have their own children, they would adopt abandoned ones? Every child has the right to have parents. Or at least feel the love for yourself, which caregivers in boarding schools cannot give. Different-sex couples, for some reason, do not want to adopt, but those whom the first consider "abnormal" will do, not realizing that they themselves are a little abnormal.
Although this is a relative term. Like everything in our life. As they say in occultism, in that world there is no concept of "man" or "woman", everyone is the same there. There is friendship there, and sex is a relic of this earthly life. So let's not judge people in terms of sex.
Whom I love is my own business... I can't stand the word "woman": it somehow sounds rude.
I love a girl. I say this sincerely, not even hiding it from people I don't know well. I know that many, after my confessions, begin to treat me contemptuously. Their attitude, to be honest, little worries me. Let them experience at least "triple" hatred - their business.
If there are men who love men, then why should I be ashamed of my love for a woman? Moreover, I do not shout right and left about my feelings. I love simply, without getting anyone.
From personal life
Alina is a wonderful person. And it's not my fault that I love her, and not any of the men. So it happened. Nothing to fix. So it, in fact, will remain, what is there to hide? I don’t consider myself a sinner because at least I don’t give men a single reason. I tell each of them everything as it is.
I was married, I have a daughter
I divorced my husband as soon as I realized that I did not love him at all, but a friend of a friend. I met her at a mutual friend's birthday party.
Soul mate! Didn't expect this to happen. Alina understands me without words, without gestures, and without actions. She just understands me without judging me for anything. About my love that I feel for her, she knows. As I know that my love is not mutual. She cannot be with me because she loves her husband. What can I do here? Just calm down.
Alina is good. She really takes pity on me. And I'm not something that I do not like - I do not recognize. Someone's pity humiliates me. I told her about it, but she can't help but feel sorry for me or something similar. I didn't need to tell her that I loved her. Not ashamed, but stupid. How did I not guess that nothing shines for me? Hope is a great thing. That's why I got hooked on it. And I am like that. I will hope even when there is practically no hope for anything. That's right: hope helps to live. Oh, how grateful I am for that! She saved me more than once from gloomy thoughts and actions. The people who were nearby did not manage to do this.
I love Alina! I love and will love!
On the Internet, by the way, I often “disappear” in order to leave my experiences and impressions there. The Internet is like paper: it tolerates everything. As a matter of fact, I take advantage of his "patience". Usually, to be honest, I don't use anyone. But, the Internet is an inanimate "creature". Therefore, I do not think that I am doing some meanness there.
Many women love women
What should I do if I fell into such a trap? I can't kill myself for love. I have a daughter, people dear to me. There is someone to live for. And I live for them. I take care of myself even when I really don't want to. But life says: "If you appreciate those who appreciate you, live and be glad that you live." I rejoice...
I wrote a song. Dedicated to Alina Kozakova. Now my song is being played on the radio. I don't tell her (I don't tell her) that I wrote it. I'm not saying that the song was written for her. She probably would not appreciate my "creation" as I want. It's better to keep everything in your secrets. For now, it turns out...
I hate! Why such injustice in the world? Who needs it, who invented it? Maybe someone looks at her with different eyes. Not me. I need justice. I am looking for her. Everywhere: in the crowd, among friends, in shops and cafes, on trains and trains. Wherever I am, I never stop looking. But the search does not remember success, even though I only count on myself and counted constantly.
I love myself, I suffer for myself
Strange, naive, stupid. Is it smart? Where does the mind come from when I think about feminine warmth being of the same gender? The mind can be seen in love dissolved. Daughter is aware. She, by sheer chance, read one of my diaries. From crust to crust. Then she “summoned” me for a very frank conversation. I did not dare to deceive her: my honesty is stronger. I was surprised that my daughter did not condemn me. She understood. She even admitted that a few years ago she felt a slight attraction to her classmate at the institute. But she transferred to the correspondence department, they stopped seeing each other and the attraction gradually began to fade.
It seems to me that Olya (my daughter) suffered differently from me. She somehow quickly "departed" from this. But I can not. I like to love Alina. Even knowing that I love in vain.
No one is perfect and everyone has their own idea of life and its “troubles”. My love does not interfere with anyone. You can live in peace! So I live when I don’t remember Alina. I have recently started ignoring her calls and messages. She understood everything, she just doesn’t want to lose me as a friend. And I am a maximalist: I need either everything or nothing. Unfortunately, I got this option.
Photos of her that were, remained on the old computer. I do not look through them, because without viewing - the nerves are safer. And I bought a new computer so that there would not even be a memory of photographs of a woman who belongs to the other side of fate.
I forgot all the words and thoughts. The ones that had nothing to do with her. She is everywhere. She became too much. I need a rest. I booked a travel package for a week. I'm going to pick it up one of these days. Change the environment, relax, calm down. Olka will not go with me: she got a job as a waitress in a bar and they don’t let her leave her job. I'm going alone. And I know that I will return, because Olka needs it. She and I are like friends. There are no secrets between us, although we quarrel ... it happens.
To be continued:
I loved
